Recently, I was asked to speak at an event on the importance of intention in terms of wellbeing and performance. I thought the notes from my talk would be worth sharing.
This article is less about the need to set goals and more about how to not get in our own way whilst moving towards them. We’re tricky creatures, us humans, so here are 5 NLP hacks for achieving your goals.
- Get really clear. When you’re setting goals, be sure to use your intuition to feel your way through those choices, not just your intellect. Notice if you write something down that you think you want, but it feels “off”. Too often we write down what we think we “should do” not what we really desire. It needs to be in alignment with your higher self. Your body will tell you if it’s not.
- If it feels “off”, figure out why. Watch out for secondary gain. If you’re not familiar with that term, it’s literally a secondary advantage that you get from keeping a problem or not taking action. For example, my husband is 18 years older than me. When we’re out in public sometimes I catch people trying to figure out if I’m his wife, daughter or carer! Don’t worry, we laugh about it. But if my goal is to become a stronger, fitter, younger-looking version of me, there’s a part of me that knows that could create more of a disconnect with my husband and voila! there it is – secondary gain. When you recognise it, don’t let it stop you, just accept the limiting belief (laugh at yourself if need be) and move on.
- If you’re not sure of what you want, don’t be afraid to listen to your shadow – Our shadow self is the hidden part of our personality made up of the parts of us we don’t like to acknowledge. For example, when I feel envy seeing other middle-aged women who’ve managed to sculpt their bodies through weight training, I take the signal from my shadow self and use that powerful emotion to my advantage. You can turn envy into admiration if it makes you feel better, but don’t shut your shadow down – pay attention. Be curious.
- Visualise – Your unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between a memory or a future visualisation. If we bring to life a really clear representation of what success looks like, it tends to help us pay attention to all the people, opportunities and energy it needs to support your higher self. Even if you forgot about your goal, your unconscious mind will want to fulfil that visualisation, as powerfully as if it had already happened. Easy tip – when you wake up each morning, before you open your eyes, spend a couple of minutes in your future, visualising success – what you see, what you hear, how your body feels, who is there, what are they saying, sense the temperature, notice what colours are important… (you get the picture).
- Celebrate success regularly – Goals tend to feel overwhelming if they feel separate from you. Acknowledging the small steps towards them is what helps keep you on track. At the end of every week, reflect on what you did that brought you closer to your goals. And if you strayed from your intention, simply examine what happened, tidy it up, and start again. You’re only human – a wonderfully complex and infinitely resourceful bundle of possibilities.
Best of luck with your goals. On the way, remember to pay attention to and be honest with your whole self.
